A dear friend of mine left me a nice comment to continue to write and it need not all be depressing. I think I hit rock bottom last night, so there is no where to go now but up.

Honestly, I always thought that I was ahead of the game because I have had mentors my whole life. Last night it finally hit me that for the first time ever, no one is paying attention to me, leading me in the right direction, that for once, and probably for the rest of my life, I get to make my own choices. Its exciting and scary at the same time and I hate to think about the fact that most people have lived without a mentor, let alone four, most or all of their lives, and have already began figuring things out for themselves, and I am just beginning. I thought I was ahead, HA, I was behind.

I cried about it last night, I am leaving that sheltered and directed life behind and today am starting a new one, my own.

Here I go.